Romil's Online Box...

Once again we are back with the best of the demotivational Posters…
These posters are great, some of them are really funny but if a random image and a text is all it takes to get you going everyday, you might have serious problems. We’re not going to show you some cool motivational pics today because we’ve gathered a gallery with the funniest and probably the best demotivational posters. Enjoy!
Click HERE for the part 1…

This lucky guy gets caught walking out of a strip club. Let's hope his wife or girlfriend is understanding. (Link)

These posters are great, some of them are really funny but if a random image and a text is all it takes to get you going everyday, you might have serious problems. We’re not going to show you some cool motivational pics today because we’ve gathered a gallery with the funniest and probably the best demotivational posters. Enjoy!


Click Here for Part-2

Hell yes, it’s time to do some drinkin’! You’re showered, dressed to the nines and you’ve got zero responsibilities before 2PM the next day. But before you start downing pints, it might be a good idea to get a little preview of what you’re alcoholic evening is going to look like. Here we’ve detailed the five stages of a drunken night, and needless to say, it doesn’t end pretty. But so what? You’re drunk!

Banta and and son went fishing one day. Sitting in the boat for a couple of hours gave them not much to do, so the son started thinking about the world around him. He began to get curious so he asked his father some questions.
“How does this boat float?”
Banta thought for a moment, then replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”
The boy returned to his contemplation, but soon came up with another one, “How do fish breath underwater?”
Once again Banta replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”
A little later the boy asked Banta, “Why is the sky blue?”
Again, Banta replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”
Worried he was going to annoy his father, he said, “Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?”
Banta immediately assured him, “Of course not, son. If you don’t ask questions, you’ll never learn anything!”

Lesson #1: Don't trash talk your boss.

A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited:

'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and sold his sister's jewelery to buy a gun. I was appalled.

But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'....

Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:

'I'll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.'

Moral : Never, Never, Never Be Late....

An Indian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.

The Indian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation. The American snapped his gum and said, 'You Indian folk eat the whole bread?' 

The Indian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, 'of course.' The American blew a huge bubble. 'We don't. In the United States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to India .' The American had a smirk on his face. The Indian listened in silence.

The American persisted, 'D'ya eat jam with your bread?' Sighing, the Indian replied, 'of course.' Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, 'we don't. In the United States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and the leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to India...

The Indian then asked, 'Do you have sex in the United States?' The American smiled and said 'Why of course we do.' The Indian leaned closer to him and asked, 'And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?'

'We throw them away, of course!' Now it was the Indian's turn to smile. 

'We don't. In India , we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States...

I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008 and continuing it in 2009 also....... 

Because of your kindness: 

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains. 

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS. 

* Forwarded hundreds of mails but still waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LAPTOP, CAMERA, CELLPHONE etc….. 

Scientists at ISRO built a gun specifically to launch standard 2-kg dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

NASA engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements were made and a gun was sent to the NASA.

When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the "shatterproof" shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.

The horrified NASA engineers sent ISRO the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the ISRO scientists for suggestions.

ISRO responded with a one-line memo: Defrost the chicken...

Bill's company made software to run a car.

Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.

Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.

A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?"

Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire.

In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.

He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.

Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.

A message appeared on the screen, "An illegal function is performed.

All the window-panes of the car will be closed." Poor Bill died.

Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell."

Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please."

Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.




[http://xtremeromil.blogspot.com/2010/03/new-car-operating-system.html]

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for
Microsoft Europe.


5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai
Patel.

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.


2000 people leave the room.


Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to
lose
if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than
100 people may leave.

2000 people leave the room.


Kantibhai says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I
have nothing to lose if I stay.
What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.


500 people leave the room.


Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to
lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat (A language)
to leave.


498 people leave the room.


Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat
but what do I have to lose?'
So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate.
Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two
candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a
conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says 'kem chho'

The other candidate answers 'ek dam majama'!!!!

An Indian politician went to the US to visit his counterpart. When the senator invited him home for dinner, the minister was very impressed by the lavish mansion, grounds and the costly furnishings.

He asked, "How can you afford all this on a meagre senator's salary?"

The sentaor smiled knowingly and took him to the window.

"Can you see the river?"

"Yes"

"Can you see the bridge over it?"

"Of course", said the minister.

"10 percent", said the senator smugly.

Some time later, he had occasion to pay a return visit. The Indian minister lavished all hospitality on him. When they came to his house,the American was stunned by the huge palace the minister had built, glittering with precious art, hundreds of servants etc etc.

"How can you possibly afford this, on a salary in Indian Rupees," he asked.

The minister called him to the window.

"See the river over there?"

"Sure", cried the senator.

"Can you see the bridge over it?"

The senator looked, was confused, peered closely and said, "No, I don't see any bridge."

"100 percent", said the minister !!!

Pichle saal ki baat hai..
There was a movie released called "GAVASKAR" in Australia...


Apna Sunil Gavaskar felt very proud about it.


He went personally to watch the movie and check out how his image was portrayed in the movie. The Movie started... Gavaskar patiently watched it till interval but found no clue of himself in it...


Then Gavaskar thought the main character sometimes make an entry after the interval but again to his disappointment, there was not even a single fact that he could relate himself to...


Gavaskar got wild and he decided to sue the movie producers & directors. He asked "U made the movie named Gavaskar but u haven't mentioned a single thing about me. Why did you do so??

Then he got a reply and after hearing that he got silent and came back home in India
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guess wht was the reply he got ???
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guess..

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"You people also made a superhit movie named BORDER. Do you by ay chance recall anything or any fact that was mentioned about ALLAN BORDER?

John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 a.m.


While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN PHILIPPINES) .
He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN
VIETNAM). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA), then he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today.


After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA), he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) filled it with GAS (from Saudi Arabia) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.


At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his computer (MADE IN MALAYSIA), John decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV (MADE IN KOREA), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA.


AND NOW HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM HIS PRESIDENT (MADE IN KENYA)

Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.

One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came
under the bus and died on the spot.

Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.

The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment.

He was taken to the electrocution chamber.

There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room.

The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him! .

But to everyone's amazement, he survived.

The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession. After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried
to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus.

Unfortunately, this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot. Again angry passengers took him to the
police station, who in turn took him to the court.

The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment.

The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel
at one corner of the room.

He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.

This time also to everyone's amazement, he survived.

The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession. A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus.

This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the bus.

Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his injuries.

The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge.

Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment.

The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana
peel at one corner of the room.

He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.

This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!

The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died instantly the third time??

Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is perfectly logical.

If necessary read the puzzle once again.








Still you couldn't,! Then see below.........



Think hard
Tired....



wanna know the answer????

Answer :

During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity didn't pass through him.

But during the third time, he was a good conductor, electricity passed through him freely and he died!

Ha Ha Ha ha !!!!!!!! Obviously you gotta revise your science chapter on Electricity ??