Romil's Online Box...

One Junction For Jokes, Stories, Bolly News, Poetries and many other stuffs

Why Gujju's are so successful??!!!

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for
Microsoft Europe.


5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai
Patel.

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.


2000 people leave the room.


Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to
lose
if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than
100 people may leave.

2000 people leave the room.


Kantibhai says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I
have nothing to lose if I stay.
What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.


500 people leave the room.


Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to
lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat (A language)
to leave.


498 people leave the room.


Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat
but what do I have to lose?'
So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate.
Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two
candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a
conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says 'kem chho'

The other candidate answers 'ek dam majama'!!!!

Indian Politician

An Indian politician went to the US to visit his counterpart. When the senator invited him home for dinner, the minister was very impressed by the lavish mansion, grounds and the costly furnishings.

He asked, "How can you afford all this on a meagre senator's salary?"

The sentaor smiled knowingly and took him to the window.

"Can you see the river?"

"Yes"

"Can you see the bridge over it?"

"Of course", said the minister.

"10 percent", said the senator smugly.

Some time later, he had occasion to pay a return visit. The Indian minister lavished all hospitality on him. When they came to his house,the American was stunned by the huge palace the minister had built, glittering with precious art, hundreds of servants etc etc.

"How can you possibly afford this, on a salary in Indian Rupees," he asked.

The minister called him to the window.

"See the river over there?"

"Sure", cried the senator.

"Can you see the bridge over it?"

The senator looked, was confused, peered closely and said, "No, I don't see any bridge."

"100 percent", said the minister !!!

Gavaskar - A Brilliant Movie

Pichle saal ki baat hai..
There was a movie released called "GAVASKAR" in Australia...


Apna Sunil Gavaskar felt very proud about it.


He went personally to watch the movie and check out how his image was portrayed in the movie. The Movie started... Gavaskar patiently watched it till interval but found no clue of himself in it...


Then Gavaskar thought the main character sometimes make an entry after the interval but again to his disappointment, there was not even a single fact that he could relate himself to...


Gavaskar got wild and he decided to sue the movie producers & directors. He asked "U made the movie named Gavaskar but u haven't mentioned a single thing about me. Why did you do so??

Then he got a reply and after hearing that he got silent and came back home in India
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guess wht was the reply he got ???
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guess..

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"You people also made a superhit movie named BORDER. Do you by ay chance recall anything or any fact that was mentioned about ALLAN BORDER?

Google Buzz:New Social Sharing Feature for Gmail...

Google announced Google Buzz, its new social sharing feature for Gmail, company representatives admitted Buzz was inspired by a similar product: Google Wave. In fact, some of the features of Buzz and Wave are so similar you might be wondering why there are two different products in the first place?

Both services are supposed to help you create conversations and give you a richer experience around Web-based media like videos, images ,and regular text. But while Buzz and Wave have a lot in common, there also some key differences that set each service apart.


Wave and Buzz? What the heck are you talking about?
Google describes Wave as “an online tool for real-time communication and collaboration. A wave can be both a conversation and a document where people can discuss and work together using richly formatted text, photos, videos, maps, and more.” Basically, Google Wave is e-mail, instant messaging, an online collaboration tool and a wiki all rolled into one service.

But Google Buzz is designed solely to let you share videos, photos, links, and status updates with others just like you would on Facebook or Twitter. You can access Buzz through your Gmail inbox or through your mobile device’s Web browser.

Real-time communication versus e-mail conversation
While you will receive Buzz updates very quickly via e-mail, communication in Google Wave is much faster. Unlike Buzz, communication in Wave happens in real time, and you can actually watch someone typing out their response or comment on an individual wave. That’s a big difference, since it allows Wave users to easily collaborate on a project.

Wave is about collaboration, Buzz is about conversation
Wave was built on collaborative features like editing a document, planning an event, creating meeting notes, and so on. But if you just want to share photos, videos, or comments that don’t require real-time communication, then Google Buzz is probably the better option.

Waving is complex, Buzzing not so much
One of the problems with Wave is that it’s a difficult tool to explain to others, and once you understand what Wave is it’s even harder to understand everything you can do with it. Buzz, on the other hand, works similarly to e-mail and is focused on one thing: sharing content with others.

Buzz is a gateway to Wave
In a lot of ways, Buzz is a halfway point between regular e-mail and Wave. For example, when you get an updated Buzz in your inbox or Buzz tab, it displays the various comments and media that have been shared as a list. As the Buzz develops, that list gets updated and edited, but you only ever have one copy of an individual Buzz in your inbox.

Similarly, in Wave you only ever see one copy of an active wave, making it easier to track changes to a document or conversation. But new e-mail messages pile on top of one another, and it doesn’t take long before you end up with these massive conversation strings that are constantly being replicated every time you hit the reply button.

So my guess, as well as the guess of others, is that once you’re comfortable with Buzz, you might be more willing to use Wave for collaborative online projects. But the trick will be to get you to buy into using Google Buzz, and that may be a tough sell if you’re already used to sharing items with your existing networks on Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter.

Want to follow me on Buzz! Add me to your gmail buddy list: romilmars@gmail.com
Want a Google wave invite??? Mail me using your Google account...

Why Are Americans Jobless??? [Funny]


John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 a.m.


While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN PHILIPPINES) .
He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN
VIETNAM). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA), then he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today.


After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA), he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) filled it with GAS (from Saudi Arabia) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.


At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his computer (MADE IN MALAYSIA), John decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV (MADE IN KOREA), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA.


AND NOW HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM HIS PRESIDENT (MADE IN KENYA)

Ant And Grasshoper (Must Read)

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer

building its house and

laying up supplies for the winter.



The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs &

dances & plays the

summer away.



Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper

has no food or

shelter so he dies out in the cold.



*Indian Version:**



The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer

building its house and

laying up supplies for the winter.



The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs

& dances & plays the

summer away.



Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press

conference and

demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm

and well fed while

others are cold and starving.



NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering

Grasshopper next

to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table

filled with food.



The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be

that this poor

Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?



Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the

Ant's house.*



Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers

demanding that

Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.



Mayawati states this as `injustice' done on Minorities.



Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian

Government for

not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.



The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking

support to the

Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace

for prompt support

as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .



Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for

'Bengal Bandh' in West

Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.



CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from

working hard in

the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among

Ants and

Grasshoppers.



Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all

Indian Railway

Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.



Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention

of Terrorism Against

Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the

beginning of the winter.



Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation ' for

Grasshoppers in Educational

Institutions & in Government Services.



The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and

having nothing left

to pay his retroactive taxes, it's home is confiscated

by the Government and

handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by

NDTV.



Arundhati Roy calls it 'A Triumph of Justice'.



Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice '.



CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the

Downtrodden '



Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN

General Assembly. **



Many years later....**



The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a

multi-billion dollar

company in Silicon Valley, 100s of Grasshoppers still die

of starvation

despite reservation somewhere in India ,



AND



As a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding

the grasshoppers,

India is still a developing country.

Bus Conductor

Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.

One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came
under the bus and died on the spot.

Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.

The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment.

He was taken to the electrocution chamber.

There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room.

The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him! .

But to everyone's amazement, he survived.

The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession. After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried
to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus.

Unfortunately, this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot. Again angry passengers took him to the
police station, who in turn took him to the court.

The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment.

The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel
at one corner of the room.

He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.

This time also to everyone's amazement, he survived.

The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession. A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus.

This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the bus.

Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his injuries.

The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge.

Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment.

The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana
peel at one corner of the room.

He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.

This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!

The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died instantly the third time??

Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is perfectly logical.

If necessary read the puzzle once again.








Still you couldn't,! Then see below.........



Think hard
Tired....



wanna know the answer????

Answer :

During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity didn't pass through him.

But during the third time, he was a good conductor, electricity passed through him freely and he died!

Ha Ha Ha ha !!!!!!!! Obviously you gotta revise your science chapter on Electricity ??

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