An Indian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.
The Indian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation. The American snapped his gum and said, 'You Indian folk eat the whole bread?'
The Indian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, 'of course.' The American blew a huge bubble. 'We don't. In the United States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to India .' The American had a smirk on his face. The Indian listened in silence.
The American persisted, 'D'ya eat jam with your bread?' Sighing, the Indian replied, 'of course.' Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, 'we don't. In the United States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and the leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to India...
The Indian then asked, 'Do you have sex in the United States?' The American smiled and said 'Why of course we do.' The Indian leaned closer to him and asked, 'And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?'
'We throw them away, of course!' Now it was the Indian's turn to smile.
'We don't. In India , we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States...
I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008 and continuing it in 2009 also.......
Because of your kindness:
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* Forwarded hundreds of mails but still waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LAPTOP, CAMERA, CELLPHONE etc…..
Because of your kindness:
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* Forwarded hundreds of mails but still waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LAPTOP, CAMERA, CELLPHONE etc…..
Scientists at ISRO built a gun specifically to launch standard 2-kg dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
NASA engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements were made and a gun was sent to the NASA.
When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the "shatterproof" shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.
The horrified NASA engineers sent ISRO the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the ISRO scientists for suggestions.
ISRO responded with a one-line memo: Defrost the chicken...
NASA engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements were made and a gun was sent to the NASA.
When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the "shatterproof" shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.
The horrified NASA engineers sent ISRO the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the ISRO scientists for suggestions.
ISRO responded with a one-line memo: Defrost the chicken...
Bill's company made software to run a car.
Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.
Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.
A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?"
Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire.
In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.
He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.
Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.
A message appeared on the screen, "An illegal function is performed.
All the window-panes of the car will be closed." Poor Bill died.
Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell."
Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please."
Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.
[http://xtremeromil.blogspot.com/2010/03/new-car-operating-system.html]
Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.
Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.
A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?"
Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire.
In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.
He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.
Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.
A message appeared on the screen, "An illegal function is performed.
All the window-panes of the car will be closed." Poor Bill died.
Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell."
Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please."
Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.
[http://xtremeromil.blogspot.com/2010/03/new-car-operating-system.html]
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